


It All Leads Back to You

by unfortunatelyjules



Category: Black Survival (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfortunatelyjules/pseuds/unfortunatelyjules
Summary: Wandering photographer, Nathapon Liamlai, is unable to hold onto any relationships with anybody else. Unremarkably, a postgraduate student, Arda Evren, shares this sentiment. Despite their intricate differences and differing ideas, as they interact, they find themselves being more similar to each other than the other would believe. Is it possible for two human beings, both with a repulsion to growing close, to, ironically, become close to one another?
Relationships: Arda Evren/Nathapon Liamlai
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really written anything consistently before, so I'm giving it a try here. I really like these two, and I think they're quite interesting, so I want to expand on it here as well. Thank you for even clicking on this :') Chapters are quite short and I like to write concisely for ease of reading. Whoever ends up reading this, I hope you enjoy!  
> (I also hope I can continue this)

How is it possible?

How is it possible, at all, for a person to depart, leaving hardly a trace behind?

Traces are, in essence, what make up a person. They’re the small things (even subtleties) people leave behind. It isn’t as concrete of a concept as one would typically think of it to be, nor is it a simple term with a simple definition. Traces can be words, items, ideas, or anything of the past-- whether it be an off-handed remark someone has made, or a keepsake someone has discarded. People are made up of these building blocks. People are their words. Their actions. Their sentiments, and their loved items. It’s human nature to cling to things that are loved, and to repulse from things that are hated. When uncovering someone’s ‘traces’-- from asking them what they enjoy, and glancing upon what they hold onto both physically and mentally-- you can piece together who they are. The things they adore are part of them, and when someone is to think of that person, they attach those ideas to them. When one absentmindedly thinks of another, they often are reminded of the other through drabble akin to, “____ likes ___ too,” or, “____ had told me once they despised ___.” Small talk may seem useless and dreary, but remains key to holding exactly what a person can be like.

So, when a person rejects small talk, and neglects to talk anything of themselves, the picture that becomes of them is vague and blurred. Their sense of self to others is incomplete, and it becomes troubling to think of. They will always be distant. Their face and physical appearance can be known and acknowledged, but their interests and passions are left an unfortunate mystery. 

Those seemingly miniscule building blocks that hold up a sense of self are much more important than people consider them to be. So much so, that the effects of knocking these building blocks down and demolishing them are devastating. 

To a wandering photographer, Nathapon Liamlai, there is nothing of the sort to hold onto. There are no loved ones, no keepsakes. No ‘traces’ of his own. There are no building blocks providing him with a normal sort of mental stability. He wasn’t given that luxury, with his own building blocks being knocked down from a blunt force trauma he had endured years passed. There is nothing. There is nothing but one key interest-- photography. It is within this that Nathapon cashes in all of his chips; his ultimate gamble. Within his shoddy image of himself, Nathapon’s interest in photography is the glue holding him together. Nothing else can possibly be trusted or held onto, and without at least one activity or idea to believe in, Nathapon would definitely be a mess. So, photography is something reliable, and requires no connections to or with anyone or anything.

Constantly searching for a new area, traveling to another country, Nathapon manages to find the perfect scenery; catching moments perfectly. Every photo is so pristine, so clear, one becomes immersed in it just glancing upon it. Photography is the one thing he does best. There are no other parts of him worth talking about or thinking of. What parts of him could possibly be worth talking about? There’s so much missing; too much missing.

However, the parts missing from him are a gift to him in ways incomprehensible. The manner in which Nathapon sees the world is so incredible, with his eyesight so keen, his entire heart and very being goes into his craft. 

It’s not as if he has any other choice. With retrograde amnesia, Nathapon’s entire past is obsolete. There is barely a future present for someone of his condition. All that is there for him is the present, which he lives through primarily with his photography. His memory works akin to that of a scrapbook, copy-and-pasting artificial memories. If anything, he quite literally compiles his memories into a scrapbook- with his memories recalled specifically from photos. Things like a stop he’d taken to snap a picture of a beautiful sunset, or kneeling down to catch a shot of a waterfall in the early morning. With only his photos to use as memory in some occasions, the photos are taken with such high consideration. It is with his limited memory that Nathapon Liamlai is able to capture photos unlike any ordinary person.

All the while, capturing these photos, Nathapon is able to up and leave an area at any given time, taking nothing along with him but his camera. It’s been the same routine, without fail, time and time again. No physical, emotional, or personal attachments. Rejecting small talk, and rejecting interpersonal connections, Nathapon Liamlai is a loner. Leaving behind everything easily.

Leaving constantly, with no traces.

Hardly a trace left behind.


	2. Chapter 2

What a strange thing to attach yourself to, traces. 

For an archaeologist, traces of things that once lived are imperative. It’s what their job is all about, really. Fossils, old bones, old objects and trinkets crafted from long-ago societies- these are all things an archaeologist typically focuses on. 

So, it’s only natural for Arda Evren, a Ph.D student in archaeology, to be so consumed with ideas of traces. After all, it’s part of his studies. 

In fact, he’d studied under a professor well-regarded in the archaeology scene- Dr. Petula. Well-known and renowned as well, Dr. Petula was quite prestigious in archaeology, with a multitude of impressive finds. That is, until a large scandal came forward regarding the genuinity of the artifacts she’d discovered. Cameras facing her, as well as her students, the public cried that she had counterfeited all of her artifacts. The media dubbed her a phony. Just with a simple claim, it seemed everyone, including her students, had turned their backs towards her in shame.

Arda had been an exception to this. He defended her, going against the hefty claims of the general public. No, his mentor had not done such a thing. This is the belief he held, until the absolute end of the Dr. Petula issue. After all of his fierce defenses, after a couple months time, he finally let up in the end, going along with the belief that she had indeed counterfeited her artifacts.

It is somewhat humorous that after such a widespread scandal that she was proved innocent. Her innocence came as a large shock to Arda, who valued her teachings so dearly and ended up against her in the end. Not only had he turned his back on her, but he had done so after defending her so fervently. It was a clear situation of betrayal. He had betrayed his beloved professor. There was trust there, between them, and he had broken it. 

With a series of claims one after another, the case of Dr. Petula is a strange one. Eventually, the public found themselves moving on over it, discovering newer issues and scandals, as they do with everything else. However, it is a case that Arda Evren has been unable to forget since it occurred. Of all Petula’s students, he was the one most deeply affected by it, and his betrayal towards her.

Since then, his understanding of human relationships shifted. The concept of ‘belief’ in his mind changed greatly from the misunderstanding. Withdrawing his hand skeptically from everyone, Arda has set up a wall between himself and practically any other human being. He prefers to place no trust in anyone, and for no trust to be placed within him in return. His aversion to trust gave way to an aversion to connections and relationships. With this, he found himself valuing the traces of a person more than the person themself- his archaeologist nature and his dislike of close human relationships blending into an odd concoction of obsession. Material things and objects belonging to a person can’t betray anyone. They can’t spew evil lies. They’re inanimate. Of course Arda would only be able to attach to something like this. Getting close to someone would mean placing trust in them, and, in return, creates eventual disappointment. Objects- ‘traces’- if genuine, are an undeniable form of proof, that to Arda Evren, hold up much more than a human statement. You aren't going to gain disappointment from attaching yourself to an inanimate object, and it can't betray you. Things that are solid and unchangeable, unlike humans, are much easier for Arda to attach himself to. And so, he holds onto traces.

From this, both in ideas and artifacts, it can be said that Arda is a person that indefinitely holds onto the past.


End file.
